Okay.. I’ll admit it, I love them. I love the idea that I can start FRESH. Kind of like when I say I’m going to start working out but it can’t be on any day other than a Monday. New week. New year. You get the drift. New beginnings, and I enjoy them. Mucho.
A few things I want to work on this year..
Quit looking for perfection in my marriage. It wont happen. We can’t erase the past, nor is it a romance movie where he’ll sweep in and say all the right things and I’ll feel that twinge in my stomach, with a twinkle in my eye and know every things better. Nope. Nada.
We’ll still have fights.. Will they lead to divorce? Lord help me I hope not, but it’s NORMAL to fight. I don’t have to stay awake after every fight worrying that this one was the one that broke the camels back, we should have just agreed on where to have dinner damn it.
Breathe Rachelle. LIVE. Stop worrying. Be happy. Quit being so concerned with the idea that he might not be happy. You make him happy, shut your head up.
Be a Yes Mom. Sometimes I think I’m the cranky Mom who doesn’t want to do anything. I’m also not really a “play” Mom. I love to take the girls to lunch dates, or movie dates, or shopping. We snuggle all the time or color but I don’t really…. play and I always feel like I’m scarring them for life by not rolling on the floor playing barbies.
I mean, I’m probably not scarring them, but I want them to grow up and have memories of me being fun, loving and a part (Not to be confused with APART.. Thankyouverymuch) of things.
Not remembering me working on something while they played in the playroom. I want to be in their memories. All of them.
Be in photos.
LOL this one sounds so superficial, doesn’t it? I’m always behind the camera. I say to Mr. Fingerprints all the time, “What if I were to die. You wouldn’t even remember what I looked like!” I’m trying to be better. Say, “hey! Take a picture of us.” But I feel so lame doing it. Stop it Rachelle.. Quiet that head up again!
Be happy with my body. This also means taking care of it. Sure I want to lose 20 more pounds but if I don’t that’s okay. I’ve been working hard as a mother trucker to lose my baby weight.. (Ha, the baby who is almost…Four. Gulp) But my body will NEVER be pre-baby. It’s okay. Learn to live with it, learn to like it. I should probably quit messing with my hair too because it’s a hot mess and can’t afford any more fried ends or patches from it falling out all the time.