Letting Go

I’ve been trying to keep mum since January about my whole family situation, out of respect to the parties involved and all.. Plus.. A home decor blog…? Emotions..? Sometimes there’s a fine line and it’s confusing and risky to share too much. But, I also like to connect with y’all, and I know I’m not the only one who has walked this road, and I’m not the only one who will.. So.. here goes.

Tomorrow is *huge* for my family. Huge.

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After thirteen long, sometimes amazing years.. sometimes awful years.. I’m going to walk into a court room with the man who used to be my best friend and have the state of Michigan tell us we aren’t married anymore.

It’s a really weird feeling. Today it was almost like I could hear the clock ticking.. The day dragged while I tried to keep myself busy so I wouldn’t dwell on it, and at the same time I blinked and it was gone. The last day as Mrs. Czuk gone. So bizarre right? Wanting something to get here and get over with, and biting my nails because.. Wait? Didn’t this just happen? Weren’t we just laughing about how crazy our kids were and planning the house we wanted to build? We didn’t even finish the t.v shows we had DVR’d…. What the crap? This is a joke right? A dream? He was JUST HERE? 

I recently read this article on Momastery, and it really hit home. I struggle so much with failure. I can’t stand it, I’m absolutely a sore loser, I get angry when I can’t do something I feel should be easy for me to do. Like, I don’t know.. Marriage? ha. But I’m trying every day to see it a little differently.

Is it really a failure to stand up for yourself? Is it really a failure to try like HELL to fight for something, and then decide that you yourself is worth fighting for more? That proving to your girls that love is a powerful, powerful thing, and shouldn’t hurt, shouldn’t be something you have to ASK for?

Sometimes it’s just taking that step. Getting up off the bathroom floor and standing up. Saying, today I wont cry. Today I’ll fight for me. Today I’ll smile. Today I’ll show *every* person in my life how much they mean to me. That they matter. That life is still beautiful, just different now.

Different is okay. Scary, but okay.

It’s not a failure when you make it out alive… When you survive the storm…

“It takes a lot of courage to release the familiar and seemingly secure, to embrace the new. But there is no real security in what is no longer meaningful. There is more security in the adventurous and exciting, for in movement there is life, and in change there is power.”

 

 

Bedroom Switch-er-roo

Hello hello my friends! Where has the time gone?! Oh yeah.. speeding right along. Life is weird like that, isn’t it? Days are long.. years are short. I’m due for an update, but today isn’t the time.. I’d need about a day or two to type everything I want.. However, I appreciate every email, message, comment.. more than you’ll ever know. This little corner of the world is so special to me.. Group hug. {hugs} So much love in the room, can you feel it!?  So the second best thing would be a little bedroom inspiration right? Yes!

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I’ve had the itch to switch up the bedroom a little bit lately and I think I’ve finally narrowed down what exactly it is that I want to do. Mostly add more color, some nice rich tones.. a little more whimsy, since you know I love me some whimsy in the house.. and I’m trying out putting the bed under the windows. It kind of drives me crazy since it’s not on the focal wall, but the first night I thought about moving it, and actually did it… I slept SO GOOD. I don’t know if it’s because it’s by the window..and our windows royally suck, so a nice breeze was coming through (ha) or just the change.. but home girl didn’t wake up once that night.

Anywho..

4520ce44634ba73160a07ff6bcc3d930 I saw this mood board on pinterest, which originally came from here.. and ohh.. the colors! The nice thing about just adding color is I can do it with pillows and throws, a rug and maybe sprinkle some more art. The room itself has good bones, the mirror from Pier 1 has the right vintage feel that I love and mixing it with the mixed metals from the headboard and lamps? I swoon. I do. I’m well aware it drives some people batty to have ORB and nickle and golds in the same room, but I just really dig the pulled together feel. Matchy matchy makes me twitch.

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Back around Christmas I got these small mirrored nightstands from Target which will add a little sparkle, they’re not quite these guys but they’re similar.

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And, I’m thinking of possibly purchasing this Hemnes ikea dresser to add more storage. I do love the tall dresser I currently have that was my great grandmothers but sometimes, you just need something new. It’s slimmer, so it would work nicely I think in the teeny tiny room against the wallpaper wall, under my big ol’ mirror. Maybe add some sparkly knobs to switch it up a bit. We’ll see.. :)

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So– that’s whats going on in my head. Actually.. that’s about 2% of it, I really want to just go through the whole house and redo ALL…THE..THINGS.. But baby steps. It feels good to go through the whole house and give it a massive spring cleaning.. organizing.. and makeover. Feels good for the soul. :) Happy *almost* Friday peeps!

Because some of us still like to eat..

“This shop is part of a social shopper marketing insight campaign with Pollinate Media Group™ and Dr. Pepper Snapple Group but all my opinions are my own. #pmedia #TENways http://my-disclosur.es/OBsstV”

How’s that for a title, eh?

Okay so if you follow me on instagram (if you don’t.. you’re missing out I tell ya. All of my *whomp whomp* bad luck stories are there.. too many awkward face selfies (I’ve yet to perfect my sexy selfie..what?) and lots of pictures of my cute kids trying to manipulate me into turning on the wifi for them #firstworldproblems..) Wait, I got off track. Okay..

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Back to it, if you follow me on IG you might have heard me ramble about my recent weight loss (almost 50 lbs..I know right?), a lot of it was probably just stress-weight loss.. since most of my hair went with it.. But now that I’ve leveled out (in the head. ha) I don’t want to GAIN it all back. So, I’ve been doing things to help out.. like keeping up with my It Works regimen.. working out.. (kill me) and trying to eat a little better. I say little because, though I do enjoy taco bell way too much, and I love love love me some fast food.. I’m trying to cut back, baby steps… my biggest downfall? Lunch… and Pop.. Okay, soda.. if you’re from anywhere in the country besides Michigan.

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I need sugar, that’s just how it is. I need the bubbles, and I don’t love coffee so I can’t get my jitter fix there.. I like ice. cold. pop. There, I said it. With these new TEN products I got at Walmart, I feel better having my sugar fix throughout the day. It has less calories (Only TEN!) but I’m not sacrificing any of the taste, which is huge for me. I’m not a diet girl, no thanks.

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Another thing, that has totally helped me in my quest to keep the weight off even though.. I love to eat. All the time. All the things… Is to plan. Plan ahead!

I make a ton of shredded chicken ahead of time, and am totally digging lettuce wraps at the moment! They’re so easy to switch up so I’m not having the same thing every day, and they’re filling! I don’t feel terrible if I have 2 or 3 and feel like crap the rest of the day. Chicken.. Good.. Lettuce.. Good.. Cheese.. Gooood. (How many of you are picturing Joey from friends and the trifle episode? No? Well then..)

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My favorite at the moment is Salsa Chicken, which I make ahead of time in the crock pot– a few chicken breasts, a can of salsa, whatever spices I can think of to throw in there and then I’m good for the week! I sprinkle some cheese on it, stay away from the sour cream even though, I do love it.. and dip it in some mango salsa if I need a little extra sweetness. I’m telling you– it doesn’t get simpler than this! Pair it with some bubbly 7-UP TEN.. Yes, meal complete. I don’t feel awful for drinking soda if I’m skipping the calories AND eating something good for me.

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Some of my other favorites for the lettuce wraps are Greek Style: Shredded chicken, greek dressing, kalamata olives, feta cheese. Buffalo Style: Shredded chicken in the crock, with some hot sauce, feta (I’m no bleu cheese fan) and maybe a dab of ranch if I want to get crazy. ;) Pair it with any of the TEN products, and I’m set.

Since I know you want to try out the new TEN Products as well.. and get your bubble fix, you can use this coupon at your local Walmart and get .50 cents off any purchase of TWO 2 liters of the new ten calorie products While supplies last, until April 17th..:) Bonus! Coupons make the world go ’round, they say.

Small House Livin’

   “This post is part of a social shopper marketing insight campaign withPollinate Media Group™ andLitter Genie, but all my opinions are my own. #pmedia #petparents http://my-disclosur.es/OBsstV.”

So here’s the thing about living in an itty bitty house.

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Okay, scratch that– because we’re very lucky for the house we DO have but it is a little cramped. And, I don’t know how many times a day I say I wish we had more ROOM. But, that’s neither here nor there. Well, I guess it is– because that’s what this post is about. Ha!

The house is laid out kind of funny, small rooms and very tight so for the animals in the house, they don’t have a designated spot to hang out… and I have a big issue with smells. I don’t want someone to come in the house and KNOW we have pets, ya know? So this Litter Genie from Target kind of fit the bill.

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The cool thing about it is there’s literally no smells to be had. I’m NOT a fan of kitty litter, at all. But, it comes with the pet and since I love the dang cat, he stays. But so does the litter box. This fancy contraption locks in smells– so you don’t walk in the house and say wow.. there’s a cat here. It’s easy enough to use that my children can do it (ha! Chores, buddies!) and it takes about 30 seconds to pop the lid, clean the box and boom. Fresh house all over again.

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And, everything was right in the world.

Except my cat who can’t keep his food..in the dish.

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Here dude.. let me clean that up for you.

The things we do for them. #petparents ha.

So here’s the deal, you can get this fancy Litter Genie at Target AND use this 3.00 off coupon and be excited that you saved some pennies while keeping your house smelling so fresh and so clean, clean.

The Weekly Creative!

It’s baaaack! With a brand new time! Clearly, these gorgeous ladies knew I wasn’t a morning person, or a planner.. so they changed the time for me.

 

Kidding.

 

Sort of.

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You know the deal! Lets see what you’re working on– show us your sparkle! I’ll feature some of my favorites next week! Yayy!

 

Goodbye 2013

First off, I want to thank each and every one of you who has sent emails, comments and messages checking up on me since my little absence. I wanted to give myself time to really *REALLY* be sure I wanted to share what’s going on in my life, and do so without tears in my eyes.

I can’t promise I wont have tears in my eyes though, but go with it.

I have always been open about the struggles that life has brought our way, whether it be our marriage, family life, bills, anything really. I’m not ashamed to admit that things aren’t perfect in this little world of mine– because the internet lies, and it sends out a message that everyone else has this beautiful life full of happiness, perfect magazine homes, and every project made from toilet paper rolls turns into golden pinterest worthy wall art.

That’s not life. Life isn’t always sunshine, sometimes there is rain, and lots of it.

Right now– there’s rain.

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A few months ago (Sometimes it feels like days, sometimes years. Time kind of stands still when life is thrown for a loop) my husband decided that he just couldn’t do this anymore. And, I’ll be very very very honest with y’all.. God left my life at that very moment. I had a lot.. a LOT of hate. Because I stopped searching for my happiness in Him, and I felt I could only find that happiness through Jared. He was all I knew– he WAS my happiness right? I mean, 12 years is a long time to invest in someone.

I had friends pray for me, pray with me, days when my Mother literally had to drag me out of bed at 3 in the afternoon. Most of November was a blur, I can’t tell you how I got my children to school, who I called– (well I know I called a lot of friends, sometimes at 3 am and they so graciously answered the phone, with a yawn.. and let me sob. Scream, dwell, and over analyze the same situation I had been analyzing for weeks True friends are there when you’re a real mess.. And, for them I’ll be forever grateful), what I ate (when I remembered to. Seriously best/worst diet of my life.) but yet I somehow did all of these things.

God. God made me do these things. It was as if I went into a trance and the simplest things that you take for granted doing every day.. You stop doing them, and He just makes sure you make it out alive. Almost 40 lbs lighter, less hair, bags under your eyes.. but alive.

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I wish I could say that I’m past the point of “What the f*ck just happened” (Sorry Mom.) Because it was so, so very unexpected. But I guess that’s life right? I mean, I don’t hold the future and giving up control of it has been by FAR the hardest part of it for me. Not being able to fix the situation myself. Not being able to ‘love’ someone back to you. Not being able to make the bad parts of the situation go away. It’s definitely been a test of who I am. Who I’m supposed to be.

And, because I’ve had conversations with so many of you who are going through something similar, and maybe you’ve made it to my blog because of previous posts on marriage, considering almost 3 years later it’s still one of my top posts. Let me just tell you. It sucks. But, it does get better. A little bit every day. I held on for probably too long, romanticizing what we’ve had for over a decade because I refused to see anything besides the good.

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I will *never* forget the day that I finally woke up. I told myself I would fight like hell for my marriage until it was time to fight for myself.. and then one day I woke up.. and it was gone. The drive to hold on, the crippling fear of the future, I remember the day I realized I forgot what he smelled like and even though I needed a good hour to cry on the bathroom floor..because I had once LOVED what he smelled like– my mind was beginning to protect me.  God was waking me up. I could finally quit focusing on what I did wrong to make him not want me– not want us– not want our future and just realize: I was me. I still love the idea of love. I still want so badly to be apart of SOMETHING with someone. I’m not afraid to tell someone how I feel. Tell my friends I love the hell out of them… Tell someone when they make me sad. Show my kids that love is real, and that you can be so unbelievably happy with someone that you’ll have butterflies in your stomach forever. It’s possible. I have faith in it. There is so much good out there, so much good. And, I want to take it all in.

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I know I’ll have people disagree with my choice to put this out there. And, really I gave the G version and I have nothing to be ashamed of. Life is tough. Marriage is so hard. Divorce sucks. I wouldn’t wish the pain on anyone, but you will survive. You will thrive. You will come out so much stronger, because you only HAVE one life. You get one shot at this life, don’t spend it with someone who can’t see your worth. God places people in your life for a reason, no doubt. But sometimes he puts them there as a lesson, not to be your forever.

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Creating a Kids Baking-Carry-all Gift

“This shop is part of a social shopper marketing insight campaign with Pollinate Media Group™ and Rubbermaid Bento Organizers but all my opinions are my own. #pmedia #HolidayBento http://cmp.ly/3/8vNxcO”

So when I was asked to do a little somethin’ somethin’ with the Rubbermaid Bento Organizers I was really excited because I actually already use these little slices of heaven in my home! But I wanted to come up with something new for Christmas gifts that would incorporate them AND be a fun gift to get besides.. well.. a box with dividers. Though, useful– isn’t always the biggest WOW gift- right? Right? So I came up with something for a little girl or boy who 1.) Could always use a place to put trinkets, can I get an amen? and 2.) Would be fun enough to open as a gift.

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So I thought about what my kids like to do– bake. What a fun thing for them to have their own mini-baking station! So I set off to Target to buy a Rubbermaid Bento Organizer and some fun little baking items. Imagine my delight when I could find MINI (think: Kid sized) goodies.. Mini cookie cutters and mini spatulas. I die.

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I also got a really cute ornament because, I just couldn’t resist– glitter and pink. Two of my favorite things.

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And, the rest is the easiest part ever– throw it all in the bento box and tie-er-up with string! Now, as a gift I would probably give a box of cookie mix with this but I know sometimes box mixes strike a cord with some people– you could always send a homemade jar of cookie mix y’all.. and everything would be right in the world. If you’re like me– send the box. ;) And their mom will thank you for not only giving a CREATIVE gift that just keeps giving, but one that will keep the clutter at a minimum because you gave the box to clean it up with too! The cool part about these Bento boxes are that the insides can be shifted to make room for whatever you are putting in it.

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Other ideas for Christmas in a box gifts–

Bubble bath, candle, soap, loofa

Mani/Pedi set

Rainbow Loom bands (and all their million, trillion pieces)

The possibilities are endless and because Rubbermaid has so many different sizes for the bento boxes, you can go as little or as big as you’d like! I love that! Plus– this week they’re on sale (score!) and there’s a coupon code so you can get 1.00 Off at Target!

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So instead of giving a gift in some box that anyone could just toss away after the gift is given, maybe– try out a Bento box that just keeps giving! I’m excited enough about these that I’m ready to give ALL my gifts in reusable boxes!

Merry Christmas!

The Weekly Creative

Woohoo I’m back again with the lovely ladies of the Weekly Creative! And, the best part is there are a few more ladies this week! Yay! You can pop back and forth to visit all the hosts– they’d love to “meet you!” and big thanks to Diana & Melanie for getting this gig started.. Yay!

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There were so many link ups last week that I’m crushing on! Just a few favorites..

 

You have to go see the after for this bench. Amazing!

$10 bench-batchelorsway.com

 

I’m loving these glittery vases glittered jars1

So many awesome projects– I need more time in my life! ha :) Okay so party on peeps! I’m going to get comfortable and start browsing.

 

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The Weekly Creative {Link up!}

Y’all I am so bad. I begged and begged to join in hosting this linky party and then while I was getting blisters from cutting so many owl feathers last night (Halloween planning at it’s finest) I forgot to write the post.. and then I put it up late. I’m officially grounded from the group on day one.

But anywho– lets redeem myself. The Weekly Creative is a link up that the lovely ladies Diana & Melanie host and they’ve so graciously allowed me to join in hosting it.. Whoop! So since I have no week-before features.. you just get… a big shot of our mugs.

Welcome to The Weekly Creative….with your PARTY HOSTS……..

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I’m going to plan better guys, I am. haha.. Show me whatcha got!

 

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Not-So-Spooky Halloween Decor

“This post is part of a social shopper marketing insight campaign withPollinate Media Group™ andCottonelle, but all my opinions are my own. #pmedia #CottonelleTarget http://cmp.ly/3/8vNxcO.”

Now, let me start this with saying I’m pretty sure everyone buys toilet paper. But not all toilet paper is made the same you know.. And, it’s not always used for.. what you think it’s used for. Haha.

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Case in point– I decided to use it for some Halloween Decor that’s less spooky as we usually use. Now, my kids aren’t frightened by much- they can watch the haunting and hang with the rest of us and not have a scared thought in their head. ;) Lily tells me all the time– “Mommmm, it’s not real..” when scary things are on tv.. But, that doesn’t always mean their friends exactly love zombies, ghosts and gouls. So I whipped up something that is more silly– than scary. Win win!

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These vases I used were from Christmas a few years ago. I lightly sprayed them with silver spray paint for a foggy effect which I think works for the mummies too!

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Start by rolling out your toilet paper and cutting it down the middle.

If you had larger vases I wouldn’t suggest cutting it but since the toilet paper is so thick three wraps around the small vase it would have been covered, and that’s just no fun.

Don’t try and be perfect by any means, these mummies are back from the dead remember? Tattered and torn works.

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I just put a dab of glue on the beginning and on the end, trust me when I say do not stress about this. The beauty of this project is quick and easy. Let perfection walk right out that door!

I cut some eyes and a silly grin from black construction paper and voila! We’ve got a not-so-spooky-mummy! Since I was putting them in a little collection I went with different faces for each. The mummy with the glasses is my favorite.

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I think these will look really cool lit up at night! I’d suggest using battery operated candles just for safety reasons ;) Plus toilet paper like this I’m sure would light up VERY fast if you aren’t careful ha ha! :)

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Lets talk shopping while we’re at it, because you can get some deals when you by the Cottonelle Triple Roll at Target this week!

They’re having a promotional offer while supplies last if you use this coupon when you buy a 12 pack or larger of Cottonelle Triple Roll you can get a free box of Kleenex too!

https://secureimg.revtrax.com/RevTrax/cpn?merchantId=11613065&affiliateId=12832277&programId=28498808

(Coupon link)

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And, at my Target and I’m assuming at yours too.. They had a special price for the rolls 9.99 and you got a free box of wipes. Yes, I’ll take free! I’ve got kids! ha ha. Everyone loves a good deal and I like to share the wealth!